Get on Top
by Cobalt Doll
Summary: This fic contains yaoi and yuri. If that offends you, never read anything by me. Anyway, this is just a short story of what happens when Koushiro and Jyou have a little contest about fanfiction, and the resulting chaos... Pairings: Jyoumi, Koumi, Taito, D


Author's Note: Please forgive any horrible errors with the uploading of this story. This is my first time working with Fanfiction.net, and I have no idea what I'm doing. On the off chance that I post it _right_ and you read it, do tell me what you think. The only feedback I will not stand for is whining at the homosexual content. Yes, it's got yaoi and yuri. _Any_ other kind of review is deeply appreciated. Thanks in advance!  
  
-------------------------Get on Top  
----------Cobalt Doll  
  
"Hey!" said Koushiro brightly, "I found another one!"   
"You did?" asked Jyou. He adjusted his glasses, looking over Koushiro's shoulder at the computer monitor. "You did. Damn it." Koushiro smirked.   
"According to my count," he said proudly, "I've had sex with Mimi in eleven more fanfictions then you have."  
"That's not possible!" Jyou wailed. "There are hints at Jyoumi all over the first season! We're practically canon!"   
"It must be that I'm both cuter _and_ smarter then you that I keep getting the girl," replied the redhead distractedly, his mind already on the multiple searches he had going for Digimon fanfiction. Jyou snorted derisively.   
"You know, before we started this stupid bet, I'd never even _seen_ a Koushiro x Mimi fic. What do you call that? Koumi? Mishiro?"   
"Koumi, of course. I'd be on top."   
"Doubt it," said Jyou, pushing his glasses farther up the bride of his nose. Koushiro turned around to face his older friend.  
"I'm the boy!" he protested. "Of _course_ I'm the dominant partner."   
"Mimi's taller," Jyou pushed on. "That makes her the seme."   
"Incorrect!" said Koushiro, holding up a finger. "Height has nothing to do with it! Case in point, Yamato and Taichi. Yamato's taller, but I sincerely doubt that Taichi's the uke."   
"Are you kidding?" Jyou shot back. "There's no way Yamato would give up control that easily. I mean, look at all the fights he and Taichi had in the Digital World, and over the most retarded things. Yamato started most of them. If he was willing to fight that much about whether we took a rest right then or in five minutes, do you really think he'd be passive in a relationship?"   
"Ignoring the sadomasochism their constant fighting implies, I'm willing to bet Taichi's on top. Indeed, they did fight a lot. And who consistently won? Taichi. Besides, Yamato's the angsty pretty boy. Those are always on bottom."   
"Name another angsty pretty boy who's on bottom!" challenged Jyou.  
"Ken," said Koushiro instantly. "Ignoring, naturally, his asides as the Kaiser, who would _never_ have been on bottom. After all the distinctly horrible bondage references in the series, as well as his insistence on being called 'Master,' and the whip, I'd say the Kaiser was definitely a dom. However, I can't imagine Ken as anything but a submissive. He's much too effeminate to be particularly intimidating. If he ordered you to do something, you wouldn't take him seriously. He's a pretty boy. Like Yamato. Who is also an uke. Are you following my logic?"  
"If Ken is such a gay pretty boy, who's his boyfriend?" asked Jyou triumphantly. Koushiro rolled his eyes.   
"Daisuke, of course. Not only are there Daiken hints in the series, but also it has quite a legion of fan followers. And they _do_ spend a lot of time together. Really, Jyou, is your head up your ass?"   
"No!" sputtered Jyou.   
"And," continued Koushiro, "who is Daisuke a painfully obvious clone of? C'mon, say it with me..."  
"Taichi," mumbled Jyou.   
"Exactly!" pounced Koushiro. "Daiken is really not much more then an extension of Taito. A very interesting extension, with it's own fun set of twists, but an extension nonetheless. And that's DAIken and TAIto, with Daisuke and Taichi as the obvious choices for seme."   
"You've put a lot of thought into this," muttered Jyou in an annoyed voice.  
"No I haven't," replied Koushiro. "I've just been pointing out the dead obvious."  
"But you still haven't proved that you'd be on top with Mimi. And as for your Taito and Daiken theories, they're just that. Theories. You haven't proven anything yet. Ha!"   
"You want me to prove it?" asked Koushiro, jumping out of his computer chair and staring down at Jyou.  
"Yeah!" challenged the older boy, also getting to his feet.  
"To the phone!" said Koushiro, pointing in the direction of his cellular, which was a few feet away, resting on his bed.   
"To the phone!" repeated Jyou, caught up in the moment. They looked at each other for a moment before realizing their idiocy. Without any more conversation, Koushiro picked up his phone and dialed the number to the Yagami residence.   
"Moshi moshi!" said Hikari enthusiastically on the other end of the phone.   
"Hey Hikari!" said Koushiro. "Could you put Tai on? Jyou and I have a very important matter to discuss with him."   
"Sure thing!" There was a long pause before as Hikari went to get her brother. But instead of Taichi picking up, it was her again. "Um, he's kinda busy..." she muttered. Koushiro could tell from the sound of her voice that she was blushing.   
"Is he with Yamato?" he asked.   
"Y-yes..." stammered Hikari.   
"Perfect!" cheered Koushiro. "It's very important that you put him on _immediately_!"  
"Alright..." sighed Hikari. Nearly two full minutes passed before the phone picked up again. Jyou fidgeted absently with his glasses, but Koushiro didn't move.  
"Hello?" asked Taichi. He sounded thoroughly irritated. In the background Koushiro could hear Yamato ask who was on the phone. He smirked to himself. This was _too_ perfect.   
"When you and Yamato have sex, or if you were going to, who would be on top?" Koushiro asked, jumping right in. There was a moment of stunned silence.  
"Uh..." said Taichi. "Could you repeat that?"   
"Who's on top when you and Yamato, err, get it on?"  
"That's gross," said Taichi.  
"What is?" asked Koushiro, puzzled.  
"Me and _Yamato_ having sex. Koushiro, you've been staring at that monitor way too long. I think the radioactivity's leaking into your brain. The thought of Yamato naked has just scared me for life. Later." The line went dead. Koushiro stared at with disbelief. On his end, Taichi looked at the phone he'd just hung up with no small amount of satisfaction.   
"Who was it?" asked Yamato curiously. He was still lying on the bed, jacket half off, hair for once ruffled from its usual spiky perfection.  
"Koushiro," said Taichi mildly. "He wanted to know who was on top when we had sex."  
"Wow," mused Yamato. "I never had him pegged for a voyeur type."   
"It makes sense," said Taichi reasonably. "I mean, what do you think he does on that laptop all the time? He's gotta be a porno-freak."  
"Yeah..." agreed Yamato quietly. "Do we continue?" Taichi gave a typically manic grin before pinning Yamato down on the bed.  
"Oh yes," he replied happily. Yamato silenced him with a hungry kiss.   
----------  
"So," said Jyou, "who was on top?" Koushiro was still simply staring at the phone.  
"He said that the thought of seeing Yamato naked had just scared him for life..." said the redhead, clearly not believing his own words.  
"So do they have sex with the lights off?" asked Jyou curiously.  
"He implied that the two of them were not together at all," replied Koushiro.  
"That's _weird_," said Jyou. Koushiro just shook his head.  
"He was obviously covering the truth for the sake of his reputation. If he wasn't... Then those are the two most repressed queens I've ever seen in my life."   
"Well that means we'll have to call Daisuke and Ken to find out," suggested Jyou. Koushiro sighed his agreement.   
"Right." He dialed the number to Ken's house. It rang several times, but then Ken's voice came to their rescue.  
"Moshi moshi," he said.  
"Ken, I have to ask you a very important question."  
"Koushiro?" the younger boy asked.   
"Correct."   
"Could you make it quick please? I have company."  
"Is it Daisuke?" asked Koushiro eagerly.  
"No... It's Takeru."  
"Oh. Well, never mind that then. Pretend it _is_ Daisuke over. If you and him were to drop everything and have sex, who would be on top?" Ken blinked in surprise. He looked over at Takeru, still flushed from what they had been doing before the phone rang. The brief memories of that, plus Koushiro's question, had his cheeks stained a bright red.   
"Um, I don't think I'd have sex with Daisuke," said Ken finally. "Ever."  
"But why not?" asked Koushiro with disbelief.   
"Because I have a boyfriend already," said Ken, blushing even more furiously.   
"Who is it?" asked Koushiro.   
"I wasn't expecting the Spanish Inquisition," muttered Ken. (Monty Python fans, just imagine the possibilities.)  
"Just answer the question," said Koushiro impatiently.   
"Takeru," said Ken, his voice just barely above a whisper. He giggled softly, as though he didn't quite believe himself. Koushiro's eyebrows disappeared into his hairline. He felt a moment of pity for poor Hikari, alone in the apartment expect for her brother and his boyfriend, crushing on a guy who was alone with _his_ boyfriend. Ah, the cruel ironies of life. Luckily, he was not easily distracted.  
"Is he on top?" Koushiro continued.   
"Well... I don't know. I mean... I - We've never..."  
"If you did, you'd be on bottom wouldn't you?" asked Koushiro knowingly.   
"Maybe," said Ken in a tone that was a clear 'yes.'   
"Thank you!" said Koushiro, slamming the phone down. He turned to Jyou triumphantly.   
"Ken _isn't_ dating Daisuke as I'd hypothesized," he said, "but he _does_ have a boyfriend, and he _is_ on bottom. Or will be, eventually."   
"Who's his boyfriend?" asked Jyou.  
"Takeru."  
"Takeru!? Hmm... Do you think he'd know if his brother was on top or not?"  
"Let it go, Jyou-kun. The Taichi/Yamato seme/uke question is at a draw. For now. I believe I win the Ken uke question."  
"But," said Jyou. "But. We still don't know whether it would be Koumi or Mishiro."  
"Koumi!" said Koushiro fervently. Jyou crossed his arms.   
"Prove it," he said proudly. Koushiro glared at him. Jyou glared back. This continued far longer then was necessary.   
"We'll go to Mimi's house," said Koushiro finally. "We'll ask her ourselves. In person."  
"Agreed," said Jyou. And they smiled at each other. Still glaring.   
----------  
"Is _that_ Mimi?" asked Jyou, pointing at a figure walking down the street not too far from them. They were almost at Mimi's apartment, but the form seemed familiar. Koushiro squinted at it.  
"That _is_ someone we know," he confirmed. "I believe it's... Miyako. And she's really hanging off some guy's arm. Poor innocent soul."  
"That's not a guy!" said Jyou suddenly. "That's _Hikari_!" Koushiro squinted again. All pity he'd had for the Yagami daughter disappeared. Well, mostly. It was still Miyako. The two girls leaned in to kiss, and for just a moment he could make out their faces.   
"You're right," he murmured. "It's not boding well that so far all the other Chosen Children we've run into tonight are homosexuals."  
"Not Taichi and Yamato!" said Jyou.  
"That's just what they _said_. I would hardly take _their_ word on their own sexuality." There was a moment of silence as both boys digested this. They arrived at Mimi's apartment.   
"Shall we knock?" asked Koushiro. Jyou did so. The sound of his knuckles on the wood was surprisingly loud. For a moment there was nothing, and then they could hear people shuffling around behind the door. It opened after a moment, to reveal Mimi and Sora in barely decent lingerie.   
"Nosebleed," whispered Jyou to Koushiro, turning around to hide it.  
"Hi Sora, Mimi," said Koushiro. "Can I ask you a question?" Mimi and Sora exchanged glances, and Sora shrugged.  
"Sure," said Mimi. "Why not. Is Jyou okay?"  
"Jyou's fine," Koushiro assured them, patting his friend on the back. He returned his attention to Mimi.  
"If you and I were a couple, would it be Koumi or Mishiro? In other words, who would be on top if we had sex?" Mimi looked at him, for a moment all the synapses in her brain shut down with shock. Luckily Sora had no such affliction. She slapped Koushiro, and he reeled back.  
"Don't be rude to my girlfriend!" she snapped.  
"What did I do?" asked Koushiro. The door slammed in his face. "But who would be on top?" he wailed. His only answer was silence.  
"That was unsuccessful," stated Jyou. Koushiro glared at him. The taller boy shrugged.   
"You know," he said, "tonight has been really weird for couplings. Maybe we should just get together and _really_ fuck the order of the world up." Koushiro gave him an appraising look.  
"Only if I get to be on top," he said finally.  
"But I'm taller!" protested Jyou.   
"Height has nothing to do with it!" said Koushiro. "Case in point, Yamato and Taichi..."  
----------  
"Hey Chibimon," said Daisuke, "do you ever get the feeling you're missing something really worth being a part of?"  
"No," said the Digimon.  
"Yeah," agreed Daisuke. "Neither do I."  
  
-------------------- End 'Get on Top'  
  



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